Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize