i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
