Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
