he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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