So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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