don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
