are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
