the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
