I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
