Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
