dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
