dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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