Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
