Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
