I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
