I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
