the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
