Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize