Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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