You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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