thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize