its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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