Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
