So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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