i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
