Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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