Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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