Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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