Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
