i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
