Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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