I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize