Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
