my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
