The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
