i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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