DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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