Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
