We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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