There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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