i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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