I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
