It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
