that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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