why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
