We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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