i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize