It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
