i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
