I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
