So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize