I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just invented taco cereal.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
