a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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