I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
