I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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