fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
