Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
