and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize