Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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