He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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