Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
