We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
