My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
