Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
