Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Floor bacon is actually really good
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
