chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i want to swaddle you in tequila
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The feeling are messing with the penis
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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