please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
