Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
