I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drunk is a universal language darling
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
